Supporting Ourselves as Parents When Children Return to School

The return to school often stirs a whirlwind of emotions—not just for children, but for us parents too. While much of the focus is usually on preparing our children—buying supplies, organising routines, and easing their anxieties—this season can also be a valuable opportunity for self-reflection as parents.

From a counselling perspective, reflection is not about judging ourselves or finding flaws. Instead, it’s about noticing, accepting, and gently exploring our own experiences. When we take the time to pause and reflect, we are better able to meet our children with empathy, patience, and authenticity.

1. Notice Your Own Feelings

As children walk through those school gates, you might feel a mix of pride, relief, sadness, or even guilt. All of these feelings are valid. A person-centred approach invites us to acknowledge them without judgement.

Ask yourself: “What am I feeling today as my child returns to school?”

Allow the answer to be whatever it is—joy, worry, nostalgia—without trying to change it.

When we give ourselves permission to feel, we model emotional honesty for our children.

2. Reflect on Your Expectations

Sometimes, our own hopes and fears about school can shape how we respond to our children. Perhaps we want them to achieve more than we did, or maybe we fear they’ll face the same struggles we once experienced. Reflection can help us distinguish between their journey and our own.

Ask: “Am I responding to my child’s needs, or to my own past experiences?”

Notice where expectations might come from, and gently let go of those that don’t serve either of you.

3. Reconnect with Your Parenting Values

The school year offers a fresh start—not just for children, but for families. It’s a good time to revisit what kind of parent you want to be.

What values guide your relationship with your child—kindness, patience, honesty, respect?

How might you bring those values into the busy weeks ahead?

By keeping our values in mind, we can respond with greater consistency and authenticity.

4. Make Space for Yourself

In the rush of back-to-school schedules, parents often put their own needs last. Yet self-care is not selfish—it’s essential. When we nurture ourselves, we are more present and grounded for our children.

Set aside small moments each day for reflection, rest, or activities that bring you joy.

Remember: your well-being and your child’s well-being are deeply connected.

5. Embrace the Journey Together

Returning to school is not just a milestone for children—it’s part of the family’s story. Reflection allows us to see how far we’ve all come, and how much we continue to grow alongside our children. By approaching this season with empathy for ourselves as well as for them, we create a home environment of acceptance and connection.

Final Thoughts

Back-to-school can be a time of new beginnings. By pausing to reflect on our own feelings, expectations, and values, we strengthen our capacity to support our children from a place of compassion and authenticity. Person-centred counselling reminds us that growth happens in the presence of acceptance—both for our children and for ourselves.